This is the third part of a three-part briefing of the Leaving the Low Morale Workplace: Treatment During Resignation Periods ongoing Data Collection Project. Part 1 shared demographic and established abuse markers leading up to the resignation; Part 2 continues quantitative reporting of events that precipitated and which occurred during the resignation period. This final part offers additional qualitative data contextualizing what transpired (and outcomes) during the resignation period for people who were abused and neglected prior to leaving their toxic/dysfunctional workplaces (number of respondents in this dataset is 72). WARNING: These qualitative data include mentions of self-harm.
Please share more about any increase in or additional types of abuse or neglect that you experienced during your resignation period.
“Co-workers who previously were friendly turned on me. A co-worker overheard my director complain to the provost that I was leaving for “easier work hours and a six-figure salary.” My director also piled on more work than I could realistically do in the two-week resignation period.”
“I was portrayed as a success story and my abuser took credit for “helping” me land a new, better role. This was not at all true.”
“Any perceived gaps in support for peers taking on additional work was blamed on me both during my resignation period and after departure (reported by peers with whom I still have a relationship).”
“The audacity of having to tell the abusive people that I did not want a going away party.”
“After submitting my resignation I experienced abuse from my department manager in the form of gaslighting and made my work feel insignificant. My direct manager (Archivist) only asked for me to share what I was working on as he was never a present manager and never gave me work to do. I had to find work to complete during my time. I also believe my department manager was the reason why I lost access to my computer, system, and time clock over a week before my last day was scheduled. I felt such mistrust that I actually turned in my badge and key a week ahead of my original end date. I left and have been no contact with those managers since. I have heard from coworkers that for over 2 months after my leave the abuse became more verbal and possibly physical from the department manager.”
“My boss kept coming up with strange explanations about why I was leaving, all of which served to obfuscate the role of senior administration and their poor decision-making that created a culture of uncertainty and fear about losing once’s job at any moment. She required that I do a bunch of work to pass along knowledge to others who would be taking on various responsibilities … without checking in to see if there was anything I needed to do this. She did nothing to facilitate the closure with the many colleagues I’d worked with for [over six] years.”
“A coworker I thought I was friends with, turned out to not be and told all of my business to those I mistrusted in the organization.”
“My manager shamed me for giving three weeks notice—’professionals should really give a month’—when our employee policies required no notice and requested two weeks.”
“Lots of gossip and fakeness, and talking behind each other’s back. Microaggressions. Fake allyship. No professionalism at all. Nepotism. Staff bonds over gossiping. Library says they stand for the diversity and intersectionality but in reality they really don’t and just say they are for the people to make them look good on paper. BIPOC staff treated differently than White staff. Lazy hiring. I think if our manager was a person of color, they would have gotten fired faster.”
“I am certain my former boss was a narcissist. I resigned to flee a toxic environment, and unfortunately had to leave earlier than expected because the harassment and intimidation quickly got worse.”
“I was told that they knew I was the ‘kind of PoC that couldn’t hack it’ and would leave.”
If you experienced physical health impacts as a result of how you were treated during your resignation period, please share them:
“Weight gain, hair falling out, increase in migraines”
“I was tired. A lot.”
“Physical symptoms of anxiety (eating and sleeping issues, shortness of breath, etc)”
“Sleep disturbances, nightmares, muscle tension and pain.”
“Stomach issues and inflammation.”
“The library dean trivialized the seriousness of dangerous mold in the library prior to and after my resignation posting.”
“I experienced high blood pressure, fatigue, insomnia, increased cortisol, and severe hair loss for nearly a month after resignation.”
“After I resigned I had stress/PTSD dreams and generally experienced a lack of sleep and shock.”
“My asthma episodes worsened and I lost 10 lbs.”
“I had a series of migraines during my last three weeks from the stress. I didn’t call in because I felt like I had something to prove and it would increase the abuses.”
“I was exhausted trying to get everything done: cleaning out my office, talking with colleagues, and so forth. I had a physical breakdown and barely managed to pack my home for my move.”
“Lack of sleep, stress eating/drinking more than usual.”
If you experienced mental health impacts as a result of how you were treated during your resignation period, please share them:
“I felt completely betrayed, and the people I had worked with started to believe the abuser’s message. The fact that my departure to save my mental health was used to gaslight others is a heavy burden. The idea of going back and fighting the story is difficult to resist but just pulls me back in to toxicity.”
“I felt even more alone. I was leaving. I started to feel survivor’s guilt for managing to get out when others hadn’t been able to secure new jobs yet.”
“It was a difficult decision to leave. In general, I liked most of my coworkers and there were a lot of hurt feelings and bittersweet feelings about leaving. lots of tears.”
“I felt depressed because I was made to feel disposable the moment I chose to do what was best for me.”
“I began therapy almost 2 months before I found a new role and have continued therapy for almost a year after to help with the imposter syndrome and work anxiety I developed. I was constantly made to feel inferior by my department manager due to me being a recent graduate and a young Latin woman. I definitely realize now that they were just intimidated by my work ethic and drive to improve the department that they consistently made me feel inferior to keep their power.”
“Increase in depression and anger”
“Extreme stress and worry about how my area of work would be supported/abandoned after my resignation, stress about the experience of the upcoming “exit interview” with HR and how it would be received by the organization and library administration, anxiety about leaving a known organization into one that could be better or could be worse. Once I got closer to my date of resignation (I had resigned in February and worked through the end of the semester due to teaching responsibilities) I realized that this was all about them and not about me at all, and my mental health actually improved as I disengaged and stopped trying to succeed in a broken system.”
“I experienced panic attacks, skill regression, and trauma-induced mutism weeks after resignation. During the low-morale period, however, I lived with suicidal ideation due to prolonged social ostracism, so recovery was better than tolerating that environment.”
“I felt relieved, less anxious and excited to leave that toxic workplace. It was awful but sadly so is my current workplace- another unionized academic library.“
“If anything my mental health improved knowing I was leaving. I had already resigned myself to the fact that yet another staff departure would not be a wake up call to leadership.”
“My anxiety is higher than it has ever been. I’m in the nicest place now, working in the best library, and I still have panic attacks about things that shouldn’t matter that much. I get stuck on tiny details and try to make things perfect and I worry that I might mess up this job because of my last job.
I felt silenced, and when asked to go to lunch with some department colleagues, I declined. I stayed overnight a few nights, and slept in my office (not showering, no change of clothes, barely eating fast food, etc.) to clean up my files, schedule last minute meetings with faculty, finish what I could of projects, and leave behind notes for anyone who might be taking over. Thank God I stayed overnight the night before my last day, because my card access to buildings was reset and terminated on the morning of my last day, when I still had a lot to do.”
If there are other details you’d like to share about how you were treated during your resignation period from an organization where you had a low-morale experience, please add them:
“I was supposed to have an exit interview where I could put it on record that I was leaving because of the toxic, low morale workplace. But although I asked for the interview, they refused to schedule it. They didn’t want something on record that contradicted the story they tell themselves and use to keep others in place.”
“By the time I left my library, I was an emotional and physical wreck. I was convinced that everyone there hated me.”
“I had people in campus administration tell me that yes there were problems and they understood why I was leaving. It made me feel worse. Why didn’t they say anything? Why didn’t they support me when I needed it!”
“My work tasks were increased unreasonably upon announcing my resignation for ‘daring to leave the family’ in the words of my supervisor.”
“I feel HR also played a role in my mistreatment during this time as they were uncommunicative throughout my issues I was observing after turning in my two weeks and once I completed my end of employment survey they removed me from the system entirely as an employee. I felt as though I was being thrown out of the organization and it created a deep sense of betrayal.”
“I just wanted to be gone…but felt a need to finish on a high note…continued to work long hours when everyone suggested I just show up. Definitely gaslighted during this time.”
“Schedule changes after resignation resulting in very long hours. Not paid for vacation that I earned. Supervisor telling me how they will call new library to say I was a bad employee.“
“I was shocked that no one checked on me. I spent years working with the same group of people, and no one called after I resigned. I worked in libraries for almost two decades, and I will never return.”
“I tried to get my director and HR person to intervene to support me so I could make it through my last few weeks, but they only seemed interested in making sure the next person in my position was set up and not protecting me from abuse while I was still working. I ended up quitting 2 weeks earlier than I intended and ended up feeling as if I sabotaged myself by giving them a long notice so I could properly transition my job to the next person. I understand it’s not my fault I experienced abuse but I felt so stupid to have given my workplace so much grace when I was just a disposable worker to them. Never again will I put an employer over my own needs of getting out of a hostile work environment.”
“…[O]nce they knew they “won” they put on a cheerful sweet show for me. It was unsettling to see how quickly they changed from being so cruel to acting so cheerful. It was all an act and it was gaslighting.”
“The institution has not been able to retain a librarian for more than a full academic turn.”
“I feel like I’m being shamed for leaving a workplace, as if they think I’ve been fired even. Forgive the language here, but I feel like I put my notice in, and most colleagues collectively thought “great, now get the fuck out.” It doesn’t exactly make me feel like my work here has been valued.”
“It’s possible that my coworkers are being treated worse as a result of my resignation (two of them got PIP-ed after Administration learned I was leaving, and it could be some sort of retaliation for not finding some way to make me stay). It’s messed up that the above scenario is even a possibility that could come to mind and shows the toxicity and wack politics that have been happening in this workplace.”
“There were attempts at emotional manipulation to find out where I was going to begin working. From previous times when patrons I had hoped to leave behind followed me after former coworkers told them where I was, I was trying to avoid that possibility. When I wouldn’t tell my manager, it felt like she began to ignore me more in my final days.”
“My experience was written off since I was leaving. I was also told that I should stay and improve things so they could attract more BIPOC employees.”
If you’d like to share your experience of how you were treated during a time when you resigned from a toxic workplace that harmed you, please participate in this ongoing data collection project.
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